From tob@cwis.unomaha.edu Sun Aug  8 13:46:07 1993
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From: Tob Wood <tob@cwis.unomaha.edu>
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Reply-To: Tob Wood <tob@cwis.unomaha.edu>
Subject: I'm still here.
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           Hey.  I'm still here, just been too lazy to write.  But now
that school is almost back in session and people are beginning to trickle
back in front of their CRTs I thought I'd better get back to business.
But first:  If there are any changes of address that I need to be aware
of, please email me.

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

   I put too much basil in my spaghetti sauce tonight.  Have you ever done
this?  Now the only thing I can smell is basil.  It might be worse; I
might only be able to smell TVP(tm), but TVP(tm) has no smell.  I put
TVP(tm) in *everything*.  Is gooood for you.
   Speaking of food:  I like those Chef Boyardee commercials.  You know,
the one with the kid looking over an Italian coastal town shouting,
"Someday children all over the world will thank me!".  If it wasn't for
Hector Boyardee, we wouldn't have dinosaur pasta today.  I love pasta.  I
think the next fad in childrens canned pasta will be Artists.  Each noodle
will be a portrait of a famous (preferrably dead) artist or something
symbolizing an artist.  My favorite variety would be Cubists and
Surrealists with Meatballs.  The noodles would be: a face with only one
gigantic eye and a nose on the side of the head (Picasso), a melting
pocket watch (Dali), an asterisk with a sperm-like tail (Miro) and the
numeral `2' (Tzara).  I'd make my kids eat it everyday.  
   "Awww, gee dad, not Cubists and Surrealists for lunch AGAIN!  Can't we
have Impressionists today?"

   "No!  Sit down and eat or I'll make Pop and Op for dinner!"

I also think that a line of food should educating children about
telecommunication pioneers should be brought out.  I suggest:

       Marconi & Cheese   (or Cheese & Marconi!)
       Chili Con Edison
       Alexander Graham Bell Crackers
       Tesla Tots

.....anyway, what a lead-up eh?  I have a recipe to pass along, maybe more
than one.  The first one is a variation on a drink that was first
introduced to me by my friend Brian Wanzenreid about 12 or 13 years ago
(if you don't remember who Brian is, does `Cones' ring a bell?).

   This stuff looks like radioactive swamp water but it tastes GREAT.
I call it:  Radioactive Swamp Water! (and it tastes GREAT!)

	Ingredients:		Tang(tm) Instant Breakfast Drink
 				Lipton(tm) Sugar Free Instant Tea
				(Yes, SUGARFREE is crucial)

        Mix 1 (one) hurkin spoonful (approx 4 teaspoons) Tang(tm) with 1
(one) hurkin spoonful of Lipton(tm) in a hurkin glass (approx 16-18 oz).
CAUTION!  Do not breathe airborne particles!  You can asphyxiate on this
powder, or at the very least be hacking up orange snot for 8 hours.  I
know, it happened to me.  SLOWLY fill glass halfway with cold water.  Stir
vigorously to the tune of the Blue Danube Waltz (three-quarter time, 78
beats per minute).  If you've ever seen the Danube, you'll notice the
similarity right away.  Add some ice, about 5 nine-volt-battery-sized
pieces.  Fill to top with cold water and mix well.  MMmm MMmmmMMmm.
Add a small chunk of `dry ice' (frozen carbon dioxide [yes, I keep this
around my house at all times; comes in handy]) for that *real* radioactive
swamp water effect.  Drink up.

 	Do you always make too much rice in your rice cooker and end up
having leftover rice in your fridge for days?  Me too.  Here's what you do
with it.
           Get your melon baller (a peculiar utensil available at grocery
stores; look for it) out of your peculiar utensil drawer and spray the end
of it with Pam(tm) cooking spray or equivalent.  Set aside.  Find some one
or two day old leftover rice, some finely ground black pepper, some
crushed almonds, and some red food coloring.  Make about six hundred
little rice balls with your melon baller, and then roll the bottom half of
them in crushed almonds.  BARELY sprinkle some black pepper over the tops
and then dribble THE SMALLEST DROP POSSIBLE of red food coloring onto
each.  I use a toothpick to do this.  The coloring will soak in and it
looks really bizarre.  That is the only purpose for the food coloring; to
make it look strange and I highly recommend perfecting the technique. 
Refridgerate.   Invite people over.   Serve with Mongolian Fire Oil in a
small saucer for dipping.  If you don't have any Fire Oil, or if you don't
like it, mix a pea-sized bit of horseradish (the real stuff, not
horseradish sauce) with 4 tablespoons of soy sauce.  Dip away.  Drink sake
warmed to 98 degrees F and talk about expansion coefficients of 19th
century western European wrought iron with your guests as you eat.

           Enough about food for today.

{O}----------{O}----------{O}----------{O}----------{O}----------{O}-------{O}

I'm going to cut this short right here because I've just discovered that
alt.fun.with.tob has been created and I have a lot of work to do.

If anyone has any suggestions for the FAQ or whatever, email me or just post!

See you soon,

Tob





_____Home Cryogenics______Instructions via 'finger`_____tob@cwis.unomaha.edu