NORTHEASERN'S BEST PICKUP LINES
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell I
just met the girl of my dreams.
OR:
I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the
stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they
say "yes."]
4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and
take what I want?
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did
anyway.
7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread
the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor
tomorrow morning.
10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
12. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of
buns.
15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":]
Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
19. I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
27. So... How am I doin'?
28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet
clothes?
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. The first time is always the hardest.
31. Excuse me, are you on the pill?
32. Hi there. Do you swallow?
33. Wow! Are those real?
34. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
35. Nice dress/pants, can I talk you out of it?
36. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
37. Bond. James Bond.
38. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
39. Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to
guess your weight.
40. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
41. I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name
was included.
42. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see
a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
43. So, do you wanna see something really swell?
44. I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
45. Do you take it up the ass?
46. Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
47. Have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc in you?
Uh...no....
Well, do you want some?
48. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
49. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was
wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
50. Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with *these* two fingers?
(holding up any two)
Obvious reply: No, why?
Because they're mine.
51. I'm drunk.
52. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
53. I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
54. You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears
someone beat me to it.
55. Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
56. Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
57. You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
58. Do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Can I?
59. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
60. Pull my finger.
61. Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us.
62. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
63. Do you wanna go out for a pizza and a fuck?
What, don't you like pizza?
64. Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas.
Can I come between the holidays?
65. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one
finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
66. Your underwear must be made out of Windex, because I can see myself
in them tonight.
67. They say love is a many splendored thing. Let's make some and find out...
68. Hi. I go down on the first date...how about you?
69. Hi, what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
70. To a woman: Hey baby, can i tickle your belly from the inside?
71. Do you like apples? [Yes] How 'bout I take ya home and fuck the shit out
of ya, how'd ya like dem apples?
72. Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?
73. Hi! Can I buy you a car?
74. Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
75. I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your
ass when I'm finished.
76. Will you marry me and have my children?
(unfortunate side-effects: beware!)
77. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak
heart.
78. I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
79. Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
80. Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
81. Hey let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you.
82. You know, your eyes would go great with my bedspread
83. Are you looking for Mr Right? Or Mr RightNow?
84. Would you like fries with that?
85. Chicks dig me, I wear colored underwear!
86. If I bought you lingerie for my birthday, would there be anything in it
for me?
87. Hi, I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples.
88. Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?
89. If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
90. Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
91. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you.
92. I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
93. How did you acheive such a gaudy effect with only Avon cosmetics?
94. Do you beleive in one night stands?
95. With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!
96. Hello Susie, your mummy couldn't make it this afternoon. She asked me
to pick you up and take you home. My that's a pretty dress...
97. I'm leaving this place - want to Cum?
98. Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here! Get them while
they're hot!
99. Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a manfriend, come and
talk to me!
100.Is it cold outside, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?
101.Ever played leap frog naked?
102.I'll bet you ten bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
103.Sit on my face and let me get to nose you better!
104.Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken
the ice, will you sleep with me?"
105.I'm single!
106.I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck?
107.I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look
ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice back
rub. Are the straps too tight darling? How very, very tragic.
108.What winks and fucks like a tiger? (said while winking)
109.Yo. You'll do.
110.Excuse me, I think I dropped my congressional medal of honor under
your chair.
111.You know what they say about beauty...it protects against all evil.
Well, with you I feel really safe!
112.Excuse me, this is the non-smoking section and you happen to be on
fire!
113.I don't want to be alone when I go to bed tonight, but I do when I
wake up
114.Are those moon pants you have on? [No, why?] Because your ass is out of
this world.
115.Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
116.I was sitting here holding my cigarette when I realised I'd rather be
holding you.
117.I feel like Richard Gere, standing here next to you, the Pretty Woman.
118.You're ugly, but you interest me.
119.I didn't know angels flew so low.
120.Say, do you believe in the hereafter? (Yes) Well, then, maybe you'll
give me what I'm here after.
121.Excuse me, mame, is that dress felt?
Would you like it to be?
122.I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [no] Well then, please start.
123.Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes?
124.Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?
125.I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie
up for the night?
126.Bend the knees not the back.
127.Do you know what virgins dream of? [no?] I didn't think so.
128.If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.
129.Wanna play war? That's where you get down on your knees and blow
my head off.
130.Is That a Mirror in Your Pocket? Cause I can sure see me in your
pants.....
131.That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I was on you I'd be
coming too.
132.Does your Dad own a juice factory... cause you are very fine!
133.HEY GIRL!! Why don't you come here and wrap your legs around a real
FINE man
134.Is that your real hair color? [yes] Prove it.
135.Hey baby, you're finer than a new set of snow tires.
136.Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
137.(Dip you hand in your drink, pull it out and flick a little bit on
your target and then do the same to yourself) then you state, " Hey
Baby! What do ya say you and I go back to my room and get out of
these wet clothes"
138.Hey baby, I've got your condom delivery shipment right here. Do you
take deliveries in the rear?
139.Fuck me if I am wrong, but are we related?
140.Hello, my name's Chance. Do I have one?
[editor's note: if your name is Chance, sing the old John Lennon
song: "Give Chance a Piece"]
141.Hey don't I know you from somewhere , wait let me see the top of your
head
142.You be Dairy Queen and I'll be Burger King. You treat me right and
you can have it your way.
143.My name is milk, and I will do your body good.
144.Is your last name Gillett? Because you're the best a man can get.
145.What is the difference between a blow job and a chicken leg? [I don't
know] Do you want to go to lunch?
146.Have you ever heard of the 60-Second Sex Maniac? [No?] Got a minute?
147.Come on baby, take a chance....
Put your p**** in my under pants.
[substitute as appropriate for ****]
148.Hey baby, nice skirt, now how about droppin' the subject.
149.Hi, I fuck anyone. Are you anyone?
150.Help me wash the sheets, and I'll help you dirty 'em.
151.I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
152.Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
153.You smell wet. Let's Party.
154.Pardon me miss, but I can't help noticing that you have cum in your
hair.
155.I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty
good.
156.No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
157.Anything drugs can do I can do with my tongue
158.Hey, little girl, how 'bout a quick game of hide the weasal?
159.I'm sorry i'm an artist and it's my job to stare at beautiful
women.
160.Sobale su miembro y metetelo en la boca eso es todo.
[I don't know what it means either, I just wanted to go
international with this list!]
161.Hey, we have interlocking parts we should play legos sometime!
162.If you'll be 6 can i be 9?
163.You look so good i want to sop you up with a biscuit!
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