| ||
| Vol 1 - Num 1 | Apartment #1 Chronicles | Ocupent Newsletter |
|---|---|---|
| Free! | for Apartment 1 | |
| ||
| ||
 |
|
|
|
BOSTON- I was so excited that I had to tell some one! You are now
reading correspondance from a proud Owner/opperator of a two slot
toaster. Oh, I remember the day when the Speare Room 217 Dining
Extravaganza had a limited menu of potato chips and cookies. Then
came the refrigerator. Suddenly Cold cereal was an option! Along
with chilled beverages, fruit, and raw cookie dough. Then, we got
a coffee maker. In addition to providing us with gallons of fresh
brewed coffee, it made other hot treats possible. We enjoyed hot
meals like instant oatmeal, ramen noodles, and hot chocolate.
Now, through the miracle of modern technology, Diners in the Speare Room 217 Dining Extravaganza can enjoy Toast, Pilsbury Toaster Strudles, and PopTarts! If you ever find yourself in Boston, and you crave some nice waffles, drop by my place. I'll give you waffles and syrup served on my own bright yellow plastic plates. But where did he get this toaster? you might ask yourself. There I was picking up a few groceries. Strawberries, Cherry 7up, Romaine lettuce (for my lizards), stuff for athlete' foot, and other goodies. The nice lady at the register gives me my receipt, and they're those neat receipts with the coupons printed on the back. (Here's where it gets exciting) I look over the coupons printed on the back. There's one for an oil change, I don't have a car. There's one for $2.00 off any case of imported beer, I go to another package store that doesn't card you. There's another coupon for some dry-cleaning store, Megan gets free dry-cleaning at work. My heart was filled with dismay. "I never get the Burger King coupon" I thought to myself. Then, there it was. I didn't realize what a find it was when I first saw it, but there's this coupon for $2.00 off of any purchase of over $10.00 at Economy Hardware. | "I don't think I need anything from the hardware store," I
thought to myself. "I'll just keep it in my room until I do need
something." But just at that moment I remembered. About two months
ago I was telling my roommate, Sean, that at the hardware store,
they had your basic toaster for twelve dollars. We thought of
tantalizing treats that could be whipped up with a toaster. Just
thinking of such things made our mouths water and our stomachs growl. We did the logical thing and went down to the dining hall. After a typical dining hall meal, we had totally forgotten about the toaster idea. But the other day it came up again. This girl, Alexandra was saying how she wanted celery and cream cheese. She asked me if I had any. I said no, why would I have celery and cream cheese? She said that I should have known she was coming and had it ready for her. (She dropped by unexpectedly, I didn't know she liked celery and cream cheese, and I don't really like her enough to go to all that trouble) I told her these three points, she was a little offended by the last remark, but that's just the kind of honest guy I am. Anyway, we got to talking, and I said if I had a toaster, I could get all the chicks, because I could invite them to my room for bagels and cream cheese. | Then, a couple of days later, my roommate, Sean, was eating
his PopTarts, and saying how he really liked toasted PopTarts, and
he wished we had a toaster. We thought about it, and he said
something about each paying six dollars and we would have one. And
again we fantasized about all the goodies we could whip up if only
we had a toaster. We got hungry again and went down to the dining
hall, and forgot about the toaster.
Later still, we had an overnight guest stay over night, and we were posed with the problem of feeding him. He was Sean's guest (Sean is my roommate) and Sean could not afford to go out to eat all the time, instead of going to the dining hall, where guests must pay outrageous prices to get in. My roommate, Sean, suggested to his guest that we could sneak up some bagels and stuff from the dining hall. "Isn't that kind of like stealing?" you may ask yourself. Isn't twenty thousand dollars a year for tuition a little like stealing? So anyway, Kenny, my roomate's guest (Sean's guest) asked if we could toast the bagels up here. We hung our heads and sadly replied, "No, we don't have a toaster, nor do we know anyone who has." So we just brought him some apples and bananas. So, anyway, there I am with a coupon for two dollars off any purchase over ten dollars. Perfect! the toaster would be ten dollars. Well, actually ten dollar toaster for eight dollars would be perfect, but I just got my tax return back, so I didn't care. I laid out my $10.48 (the toaster was actually $11.98 - $2.00 coupon + $.50 tax) and I know have a toaster. I got WD-40 for my Roller Blades, but that's another story entirely, and it is no where near as exciting as the toaster story, so we'll save it for another time. by Zach Bolinger |